USA, 2003
Paul: "I guess what I was trying to do is become a better person. ... My problem is not anything that you did. It's between me and me."
Noel: "Well, I did what I did."
There are three moments that define David Gordon Green's poetic "All the Real Girls."
The first takes place between Paul and Noel in a motel room. They have rented the room, not for sex so much as solitude, and Noel removes her shirt, not to arouse Paul but to show him her scars. She explains that, when she was a girl, she was involved in a boating accident that resulted in a young boy's death. Overcome with guilt, Noel took a fishing hook and mutilated the skin on her right hip.
The scene reminds me of a scene from Ingmar Bergman's "Persona," when the main character recalls a story from her past. Both her story and Noel's story are intense in the retelling, and we remember them as if they'd actually been shown in the film. Noel's story exposes the main theme behind "All the Real Girls" - guilt, and the search for atonement. This theme is not exclusive to Christianity, but it certainly does not transcend it. This film is not uniquely Christian, but after revisiting it this week, I really want to write about it. The motel scene is important because it is the only point in the film when Noel expresses real guilt. The entire movie pivots on her actions, but she is neither punished nor reprimanded for those actions. Whatever regret she possesses, it is most strongly expressed when she recalls the drowned boy.
Does the film condemn Noel? No. The film condemns no one, and those who suffer condemnation do so at the hands of others...or, in the case of Paul, they condemn themselves.
The second defining moment occurs in the bar, between Paul and his ex-girlfriend, Mary Margaret. Paul is broken for the first time in his life, and for the first time verbally expresses the regret he has carried with him. He apologizes to Mary Margaret for the way he treated her while they were dating - she responds venomously. He then tells her a story about a flock of ducks he saw one day, flying in a V-shape. While flying, they hit a house and fell to the ground. "Have you ever seen that?" he asks. "Have you ever seen a mistake in nature?"
What has occurred between Paul and Noel is, in his mind, "a mistake in nature." It is apparent from the first shot (when Noel asks Paul, "Why haven't you kissed me?" and he responds, "Mostly I don't want it to be like it was with other girls") that Paul views Noel as a redeeming agent. Through her, he discovers that all the hearts he has broken were real hearts. His relationship with Noel is atonement for all the real girls he has ever treated poorly. He approaches her innocence with the greatest delicacy - he loves her, and the experience is one of transformation for him. Paul's redemption is cut short when Noel is unfaithful to him. She betrays her own innocence (which he had valued so much), and any chance the relationship had of "saving" Paul seems, to him, utterly lost.
Paul's mistake is that he seeks redemption in a relationship, in another human being. Noel is totally unlike any girl he has ever met. They share a common innocence - in many ways, Paul is more innocent than Noel, even though he has slept with nearly every girl in town. It's his innocence that makes his sins so much harder to bear. Throughout the film, his yearning for redemption is painfully obvious.
Noel's brother, Tip, is as innocent as Paul, and suffers as much from his own guilt. Tip's guilt is expressed in anger toward Paul when he learns that Paul is seeing Noel. "What Tip sees in you is exactly what he hates in himself," a friend tells Paul. Just as Paul seeks redemption by loving Noel, so Tip seeks redemption by preventing Paul from doing so.
Noel is wiser than both her boyfriend and her brother because she understands the futility of seeking atonement. The scars she bears serve as a symbol of her wisdom. After her infidelity, she doesn't go to Paul searching for redemption. She may be sorry for what she has done, but she doesn't attempt to undo what cannot be undone - she doesn't try to reverse the irreversible.This is the heart of the film's third defining moment, when Paul realizes that his agony is not a result of Noel's actions. "My problem is not anything that you did," he says. "It's between me and me."
I do not wish to stretch this beautiful film too much, but it is noteworthy that Paul shares his name with the famous apostle, whose own redemption and transformation was so profound. The realization that you cannot atone for your own sins is central to Paul's teachings.
One of the film's most touching subplots involves Paul's uncle Leland, a man in perpetual mourning over his dead wife. Despite his sadness, he seems remarkably satisfied - he has his sister (Paul's mother, another great character), his adopted daughter, and Paul. These relationships are his life, but they are not atonement for his sins. He clings to no regret too tightly, nor does he love anyone selfishly. He loves others because they need to be loved, and not because he needs to be saved. In this film of human relationships, Leland is the practical model.
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For more on "All the Real Girls," read the reviews by Roger Ebert, A. O. Scott, and Stephanie Zacharek.
