Through My Eyes: A Journal

By Liz Root

Contact Liz by emailing her at liz@vagrantcafe.com

Archives

2/24/2004
hey.

still w/o any kind of steady internet access but i thought i'd take a few moments just to say hello to maybe the two or three of you who still check up on me.

things are going well. i wrote a letter today to a friend, and as i wrote, all sorts of thoughts came spilling out onto the paper that i didn't even know i had been thinking about. the song playing right now just said "simple act of faith" three times in a row, and for whatever reason...it kind of makes sense with everything that's going on right now. there are some things about myself that i'm beginning to face, because i want to change. and it's going to take some faith. interesting the phrase, "act of faith." faith acts. faith isn't really faith until you do something about it. hmm.
- liz r. - 6:17:50 PM

1/20/2004
so it's been about four months since i've posted and i don't expect anybody to be reading this. just wanted to say hi. probably in the next couple of months i'll have more steady internet access again and will perhaps post here again. or perhaps not. i've kind of gotten used to real life friends. =)
- liz r. - 3:24:39 AM

9/27/2003
i'm in chicago. good times. i've got a pretty good sized caffeine headache. i think we're gonna get some lunch at some diner, and then head downtown for some walking around. it's gonna be a somewhat large group of people all together which i'm not too thrilled about. i don't really like walking around in really big groups but i'm sure everything will work out.

i also moved into a new house where i don't have steady internet access, so i'm doing my best to stay current and keep updated, but it's difficult sometimes. it's not so easy to make inspiration come when i'm at the library checking my email. yeah.
- liz r. - 11:44:46 AM

9/17/2003
just some quotes from thomas merton today.

"For today insecurity and wisdom are inseperable."

"If we were not all fools we would never accomplish anything at all."

"But to want everything is in fact to want nothing. One has to specify, otherwise choices are of no significance: they are not choices."


- liz r. - 2:43:46 PM

9/13/2003
the library is an interesting place. for instance, about 20 feet from me, a man is sitting at the listening station with headphones on, and he keeps constantly clearing his throat. which is one of the less pleasant things in life to have to listen to.

anyway. there's a lot of stuff going on in my head, and it's really too early to talk about any of it. but it's exciting, and daunting all at the same time. basically...pretty soon i'm gonna have to make some committments that will require a lot of self-discipline, and will probably alienate me from more people than i already am.

here's what i can tell you. i want to write. i want to be good at it. i want to dive into it. however, i'm afraid of the cost. something i read today stuck out to me, though.

"as i followed Cole's career, he helped me understand one of hte peculiarities of the writing profession: the observer syndrome. writing is an act performed in solitude. i am tempted to call it a psychotic act, for we writers construct an artificial reality that only we inhabit and that often seems more real to us than the other world "out there." after i have holed up for a week on an intensive writing project, i find i must go through something like reentry, having forgotten how to have normal conversation and conduct the subtle negotiations that comprise human contact. i have been shuffling words and ideas around and, difficult as that may be, it is a far more controlled and orderly process than interacting with live human beings. as a result, we writers tend to withdraw, secluding ourselves, observing life without really participating in it." -Philip Yancey "Soul Survivor"
- liz r. - 11:37:50 AM

9/10/2003
something tells me we're at the end of something. maybe you feel it, too. maybe it's just the approach of autumn. but something tells me that "it's a late time to be living." (annie dillard)

"oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!" -Isaiah 64:1

whatever this unshakable feeling is...i'm tired of fighting. whether it's escape or fulfillment, i don't know. but i'm tired of the wrestling match. so you can just pound your hand three times on the mat because i surrender.
- liz r. - 6:42:42 PM

9/9/2003
i've been thinking a lot lately about contentment. the kind paul spoke of. i really have no idea what it is, or what it takes, but i'm gonna have to learn it i think. it just takes too much energy being discontent all the time. i'm not saying i'm gonna "settle" or anything...but somehow, i need to learn how to have that contentment that sits deep within me that carries me though all the craziness of this world.

- liz r. - 3:17:26 PM