Through My Eyes: A Journal

By Liz Root

Contact Liz by emailing her at liz@vagrantcafe.com

Click here for weekly archives

1/25/2002
what in the world is going on? it seems these last few weeks i've been incredibly up and down...mood swingy, if you will. i would say this is uncharacteristic of me, but perhaps it's not. i'm not entirely sure why my mood seems so dependent upon small things such as zeke's selfish behavior (zeke is one of the three dogs i have to tolerate every day), by my chocolate consumption, by the amount of money in my wallet, by how many hours of sleep i got, etc. everything is setting me off, and it's terribly frustrating.

i'll tell you what i would really like to do. i'd like to head to florence (the nearest town with a half-way decent population), and go see a movie. but i'll probably just end up staying home and reading and drinking coffee. not that it's a bad way to spend a friday evening. of course what i'd *really* like to do is just rent a movie and drink coffee, but the dvd and vcr are over at the other house and that probably just wouldn't work out.

all that was pointless. i borrowed two books today which look to be really good. "The Jesus I Never Knew" by Phillip Yancey and "Passion for Jesus" by Mike Bickle. In all this time I've been a Christian...I don't think I've ever really gotten to know Jesus. When I pray, it's always to "God" and never Jesus. He's foreign to me. I think I'd have a much better relationship with God (Father, Son, Holy Spirit) if I'd get to know all three persons.


- liz r. - 1/25/2002

1/23/2002
much better today. woke up to the sound of rain. made coffee and ate grape nuts. took my time getting ready. actually did my hair for the first time in about two or three weeks.

i'm missing friends today. but i guess that's a clue that those friendships really are important to me, or i wouldn't miss them. i miss the familiarity. the jokes that were told. the drives to lincoln. the den of slack. i don't want to go back home...but i miss my friends.

i'm realizing that i'm really not a details type person at all. i think i'm much better at seeing the big picture than i am in all the things that it takes to go into the picture. sometimes. i mean, i can see details, but i hate focusing on them. for instance: last week we went to Lowes to look at formica for our countertops for the coffee house, and well...by the end of our relatively short time there, i never wanted to step foot in a Lowes again. i never liked places like that in the first place.

it's so easy for me to get stuck in the past...well, the good times in the past anyway. i'm always trying to re-live things, and that just doesn't work. i'm learning how to live in the moment, because i know in a year, i'll appreciate and want to re-live it.


- liz r. - 1/23/2002

1/22/2002
days like this. where absolutely every human being on the planet annoys me. where i don't feel like doing *anything.* where i let all the stuff that is going wrong in life eat and eat and eat away at me until i go crazy and my stomach hurts and all motivation is gone. i hate this.


- liz r. - 1/22/2002

1/21/2002
current struggles: (warning: contains information probably uninteresting to the male gender.)

facewash--it either dries me out or makes me break out. i think i'm going to just buy a bar of Dove and see what happens there. my skin tends to hang onto soap residue...so i hope it works. gah.
the diet--i ran out of money to buy my own food, so it's hard to not eat any carbohydrates when other people buy the food i eat. so i'm not really sure what to do...i guess i'll have to wait again to start it up again. it's terribly frustrating. i *might* be able to afford it tomorrow...i'm not sure. my body got used to not eating certain things, so when i do now...although it all tastes wonderful, it wreaks havoc on my body. (wreaks? did i spell that right?)
the fingernails--still growing. thank God. hopefully i won't chew them off. but i think this might be the first time i have my own decent looking fingernails since age ten. jenni would be so proud.

so...consistency? it's still there in certain areas...i've got to keep it at the front of my brain and not get slack at all, or else i won't keep up with it. and i hate that i put everything off until "tomorrow."


- liz r. - 1/21/2002