Through My Eyes: A Journal

By Liz Root

Contact Liz by emailing her at liz@vagrantcafe.com

Click here for weekly archives

5/24/2002
i fly back to south carolina tomorrow. am i looking forward to it? let's just say it's bittersweet. i love my friends here so much. but i know i'll be going back to where i'm supposed to be and where life makes sense, so for that i'm excited. nothing much else left to say...we're havin' a shindig tonight in lincoln which ought to be fun times, and by this time tomorrow i'll be somewhere in the vicinity of charlotte about ready to land. airplanes are so strange to me.


- liz r. - 5/24/2002

5/22/2002
it's raining. rain is so cleansing. it makes me want to read books outloud, hoping somehow that the words on the page will mix with the water from the sky and wash us all. i want to be washed with words. words have limitations and yet that's what makes them so beautiful. it's the space between them that speaks the loudest.
"The space between
The bullets in our fire fight
Is where I’ll be hiding waiting for you
The rain that falls
Splashed in your heart
Ran like sadness down the window into your room."
sometimes dave matthews says it all. thanks dave.


- liz r. - 5/22/2002


have you ever heard someone say, "it's all about finding that balance"? i've said it. you've said it. and you know what? there is no such thing. nobody will ever find balance. the pendulum swings, and those truly happy moments in life happen in the split second when you're in the middle of the swing. how about we give up on finding the elusive balance, and realize that life is moving right along with or without us. it just seems that people who are searching for this impossible state of being never really get around to living and pursuing their dreams. yes, i would like to be successful, but i won't sit around waiting for life to be easy before i venture out to accomplish my goals. balance...we wish.


- liz r. - 5/22/2002

5/21/2002
i just managed to stumble upon a website that was discussing Lauryn Hill, the new unplugged cd, and whether or not she was a Christian, and these people proceeded to make about 20 judgement calls based on limited information. i then proceeded to become upset and wanted to reply to these people with a few choice words. i then realized how absolutely meaningless it would be to do so. who am i that i think i could change anyone's mind? i know our words influence people, but we'll never change someone by trying to. it just doesn't work that way.

maybe it's all a part of maturing and growing up...but i'm learning that i've got to let go of all my ideals. since birth there's all these unspoken ideals ingrained in us. what perfection looks like. and although nobody really talks about this ideal...we all know about it. we know about it b/c we indirectly mention it any time we see someone who doesn't meet up. that girl over there has zits. that guy over there is kind of pudgy. this meal was bad. this coffee is weak. that person talks too much. it reminds me of Radiohead's "Fitter Happier" song. well i say...screw the ideal. call me crazy, but i'd like to do my best to live according to the truth i find in the Bible. i feel almost embarassed mentioning it. it's like the Bible has become taboo lately. nobody really reads it as much as they'd like to think they do, this includes myself. but doesn't it say, "faith comes by hearing and hearing by the word"? maybe i'm getting ultra-christian right now, but really...nothing matters except that i am obedient to the voice of the Lord. ultimately, i'm responsible for only myself, and with everything and everyone else, i have to trust God with them.


- liz r. - 5/21/2002

5/20/2002
sometimes, all you really need is some good food and good drinks out with your friends.

also, i love reading other people's blogs.
- liz r. - 5/20/2002


i hate that by the time i make it home to write, i have lost most everything i wanted to say. i was at a store today and on my way out, i saw these two girls probably my age or older running out the doors as fast as they could. they were shrieking and yelling and making it to their car as fast as they could. they had just stolen a bunch of clothes. but about five people saw it happen and got the lisence plate number. i then headed downtown and to the Antiquarium where a guy probably around my age kept looking at me and giving me half-smiles. shy smiles. "i think you're cute, but i don't have enough guts to say hello" smiles. sometimes i don't think guys know how easy it really is to talk to a girl. or maybe i'm just not your normal girl. i mean, as long as the guy doesn't look like a psycho or anything, i'd be glad to talk to him. oh well. i probably should stay away from guys while i'm visiting anyway. wouldn't want to break their hearts when i tell them i don't live here anymore.


- liz r. - 5/20/2002


i should never have watched that movie. i'll save my own embarassment by not telling you which one. all i will say is that movies like that just reinforce the fact that i'm hopelessly single. although 85% of the time i'm okay with it, it's that other 15% of the time that i'm not okay with it which really does me in. anything else i have to say on this topic is best kept to myself.

in other news: i had a really good time last night hanging out with my friends in lincoln. it's times like last night when i get depressed about living so far away from these people. why does america have to be so darn big? or at least, why can't i make enough money so that i can go back and visit every two months or so? b/c as far as i know, i won't be back here until december. maybe it sounds weird, but heaven will be nice b/c time won't be an issue, and probably neither will distance.


- liz r. - 5/20/2002