Through My Eyes: A Journal

By Liz Root

Contact Liz by emailing her at liz@vagrantcafe.com

Click here for weekly archives

6/15/2002
the apartment still doesn't feel like mine. and why should it, since almost everything in it belongs to jessie. not that i mind this. but she's never had to move across the country three times, hence having to de-junk, and realize that the things that are really important to you have to fit inside your 1990 geo prizm hatchback. thank God i have a hatchback.

so over the next year or so, i'll be making some money probably for the first time in my life, and will be able to buy things. i'm looking forward to this...but in a sense, not. i like owning things, but it seems like after awhile, the stuff starts owning me instead. i'll probably order a good deal of stuff from Ikea, like shelves and lights and stuff, mostly b/c they've got really cool stuff for incredibly cheap. and maybe things like silverware sets and some dishes. it just makes me feel like i'm a grown-up now. that now i have to care about things like whether or not things are dishwasher safe. to tell you the truth, i'd probably be more than happy to eat off of paper plates with plastic silverware for the rest of my life. really, the only reason why i'll ever bother with kitchen stuff, is b/c i know i'll have friends over and it probably wouldn't be a good idea to serve a big dinner all on paper or styrofoam plates.

jessie is a packrat, and i am not and of course this means that when she gets an idea to do something, she probably has a set of rusted nails around to make some cool piece of art with. but i'm not like that. i have my few collectables, and i'm happy. i've got my collection of cool san pellegrino bottles, some posters, some candles...and that's all i really need to feel at home.

changing topics: marriage. man, marriage is forever. i think i'm finally happy being single. although if i met the right person tomorrow, i'm sure i'd be all for a relationship. i think i'm just ready to admit that i can be content with my single lifestyle while at the same time being ready and willing to have a relationship with someone. but back to the marriage thing. it's like...i've seen so many couples that after awhile, it just doesn't seem like they even want to be married to each other anymore...or just that they've found some kind of routine that works for them after the romance is gone. i realize that the heavy intense romance you feel the first couple of months/years doesn't last forever...but i think at least some of it should, you know? how do people in a relationship really make it work? i think i'll know i'm in the right relationship when i find someone that i don't mind being around all the time.

jill and i like to make fun of the fact that our friendship is preparing us for marriage. back when we lived together...it didn't even feel like "work." i mean, we talked every day about whatever...we hung out, and probably about every three weeks or so, we had some really great conversation that lasted into the wee hours of the morning, thus refreshing our friendship and making us realize how much we still really enjoy each other as friends. i'm so appreciative of jill, and after 10 years of friendship, i can't even imagine not being her friend or her not being mine. we embrace each other's changes instead of rejecting them, and learn from each other and i'm telling you...i really think we're learning a lot from each other for future relationships.

some other things about jill while i'm on the topic. (hey, she talks about me in her blog -www.brighteyes.blogspot.com- i can talk about her in mine.) jill is one of the best people you will ever meet. she might not let you see that part of her right away, but it's true. i think sometimes i tend to take her for granted since i've basically grown up with her. i forget that not everyone knows jill like i do, and that the image she puts out for most people is almost the opposite of who she really is. not that she's out there not being herself...but i think there's a whole lot more to her than people will ever realize. she tends to build a wall around herself that keeps her protected from people. it's not necessarily a bad wall. i mean, most of us build them. i guess it's just that she's been misunderstood more often than most people i know, and it's hard to be open and vulnerable with people when you know they'll probably make some judgement based on limited information, which a good chunk of people do with her. so i feel very priveleged to know that between jill and me, there are no walls. we work through any misunderstandings. so yeah...all that to say: jill is a quality, genuine person in the deepest sense, and she is so much stronger than she thinks she is.


- liz r. - 6/15/2002

6/14/2002
sometimes it feels like there's a blanket covering the whole day. making it all a little dark and muffled. or it could be that i haven't gotten a full night's sleep in over a week.

we're in the new apartment now. we actually slept there last night. waking up underneath 12 foot ceilings is overwhelming if you're not used to it. the sound of traffic was new as well. for now i have to be okay with the fact that it's probably going to be another six months before i have my room the way i want it. i really want to order a bunch of stuff from Ikea for it. but this is the first time in two years that i've really had a room that i can decorate how i want and with my stuff, so i'm going to take my time and make it really great. none of this frilly girl type stuff...no...i tend to decorate in that ultra-modern style with some weird stuff to mix things up a little.

i guess i don't have much to say yet today...i know i'll get back into a routine shortly, just be patient with me.


- liz r. - 6/14/2002

6/10/2002
it's been a few days, hasn't it? i'm sorry....i've been terribly busy.

friday night i went up to charlotte to church. i had a really great time. i felt extremely refreshed when i got back home. then saturday jessie and i began to paint our new apartment some lovely colors, and we're finishing that up tonight. that's taken up the majority of my hours since saturday. we have 12 ft. ceilings, so it takes awhile. nothing too much else going on, actually. tomorrow we'll start moving all our stuff in the apartment. so if you think we're sore now, wait until after tomorrow. i won't want to move my body for a week.


- liz r. - 6/10/2002