Through My Eyes: A Journal

By Liz Root

Contact Liz by emailing her at liz@vagrantcafe.com

Click here for weekly archives

8/10/2002
transition. transition. transition.

you know when you're kind of closing one chapter of life and heading into the next and that inbetween time that about kills you. or at least it's about to kill me. for on this saturday afternoon, i'm feeling directionless and purposeless. i mean, i know that it won't always be like this. that eventually i'll find my place. i know i'm not here for no reason at all.

i just don't feel like i'm at "home" here yet. and i guess i wonder if there's anywhere else in the world where i'll feel at "home". i feel at home in omaha, and i feel at home in charlotte, but i don't feel at home here. and i really don't know why. i know i like it here and that i'm supposed to be here. hmm. i'm sure when i visit europe, i'll feel at home there, too. maybe it's because my purpose here is an overall transition...a preparation. and i probably shouldn't feel at home while i'm being prepared for something else somewhere else. who knows where.


- liz r. - 8/10/2002


ahhh...saturday mornings. well, i guess in 15 minutes it won't be morning anymore. but i don't know that there's much else better in the world than waking up when you feel like waking up instead of when the alarm clock tells you to. then making a big pot of strong french roast coffee. then hanging out with your friends for awhile. then taking a long shower so the hot water runs out. yeah. saturday mornings are the best. i wish the whole day had that morning feel to it. because then saturday afternoon hits and i get bored.

plans for the day? laundry. clean room. organize stuff. finish my ironing. eat ice cream. =)

i think maybe i'll start posting "rotations" as i like to call them...basically, what i'm listening to and what i'm wearing. a little superficial, but fun none the less.
music: radiohead - kid a, cursive - domestica, sunny day real estate - the rising tide, moby - play
clothes: white sailor pants from the gap, black tank top from the gap, red bcbg v-neck wrap around shirt
see? wasn't that fun?


- liz r. - 8/10/2002

8/9/2002
yeah. so the hairdying didn't go that great. i mean, it doesn't look bad or anything, but there really isn't any easy way to dye over black. in a couple of weeks i'll be adding some red streaks to it, ya know...mix things up a little.

good grief, why can't i think of things to say here? i think i've taken a break from thinking or something.

how about i just make some recommendations? yeah? ok.
Books: The Journey of Desire - John Eldredge, What's So Amazing About Grace - Philip Yancey
Music: Rosie Thomas - When We Were Small, Norah Jones - Come Away With Me, Moby - 18, Lauryn Hill - Unplugged
And if you're into worship music or anything, I suggest MorningStar. you can go to www.morningstarministries.org and listen to clips.

okay...it's not that i've taken a break from thinking, it's just sometimes i think about stuff and feel like sharing and sometimes i think about stuff and even if i do feel like sharing, for some reason i can't. there's a couple situations that are somewhat bothersome to me, but i won't share those here. there are other situations that are too personal for here. and then there's the typical stuff like how i really can't stand about 95% of church marquis signs, where my life is going, what i would buy if i had money, where i'm going to travel, etc.

and there's always my many shortcomings and insecurities to think about, and you know i think about them often. i've just been feeling quiet lately. so be patient with me.


- liz r. - 8/9/2002

8/8/2002
ummm....yeah. since i have nothing profound to say, i'll just kind of ramble. i'm dying my hair tonight. just brown. it's just kinda lookin' bad again now, and i need some consistency. and i want to wear my hair down w/o it looking like crap.

um..there's kind of a lot going on right now that makes me not want to post like i have been. in ways i feel like maybe i've been too transparent, although that's what people seem to like about this journal. i guess something i want to stress is that for everything i write here, it's only a fraction of my life/who i am/etc. i think most of you who read this know that...but it's just something i have to say to put my mind at ease a little. so this isn't me saying "if you think you know me, you really don't." because i think in a sense, if you read this, i've let you get to know me a little. and i love being able to relate to people. i love to hear from people and know that i'm not alone in what i feel. it's one of the best things in the world. oh...what am i saying...i'll shut up now. and i'll probably edit this later anyway. =)


- liz r. - 8/8/2002

8/7/2002
sometimes, all you need is a candle, a roof, and a sky full of stars.

(i know i haven't been writing my usual large paragraphs lately...bear with me. or maybe you like this better?)
- liz r. - 8/7/2002


I think God brought me a piece of October early. I walked outside to my car this morning and was almost chilly. It was only about 70 degrees outside. It only plans on getting up to 88 today. I wanted to cry I was so happy.


- liz r. - 8/7/2002

8/6/2002
i was reading some t.s. eliot poems this evening. he spoke of autumn. i could almost feel the leaves crackling underneath my feet. my cheeks even began to feel chilled and rosy. i want to live in a perpetual state of October.


- liz r. - 8/6/2002

8/5/2002
someday, by the grace of God, i'll stop destroying myself.


- liz r. - 8/5/2002


a new picture. woo!

today's thought: what is sad is when christians substitute ideologies (sp?) for their relationship with God.


- liz r. - 8/5/2002