Through My Eyes: A Journal

By Liz Root

Contact Liz by emailing her at liz@vagrantcafe.com

Archives

8/15/2003
i keep trying to post, and as soon as i begin to try, no words come.

i'm trying to think of an appropriate metaphor to explain the feeling i've had ever since i moved back to omaha. i don't know if there is one. i simply cannot pinpoint this gnawing feeling i've been having since i came here. it's hope, excitement, unease, fear, sadness, courage, change, waking up, falling asleep, restlessness, peace, adventure and routine, all rolled up into this pressure that sits behind my ribcage 24/7. last night i was at this local show, and during the middle, i had this urge to just run out the doors and start running like i was forest gump or something. run just to run. to be anywhere and everywhere. to run with destination, though it may not be tangible. i feel like a dam, whose water was about to make it burst, but instead the water evaporated. i wasn't braced for the letdown.


- liz r. - 4:38:59 PM


sometimes i wonder if there will ever be a time when i don't feel like i'm merely an observer.
- liz r. - 1:18:45 AM

8/14/2003
tell me a story
a story of stories
make it fascinating
make it real
fill it up with tales
of truth.

i am young and
disillusioned; disenchanted
my tired soul
it quietly cries
"wake me up"
it whispers.

***

hope is here. i can feel it. say to my spirit, rise up.
- liz r. - 12:49:33 AM

8/11/2003
appreciate the process. maybe if i say this to myself enough i'll actually start to believe it. i feel overwhelmed. with expectations. with questions. with life. i feel inadequate and ill-equipped. i'm an adult now and i refuse to believe it or accept it. and yet i must. i have no other choice. i'm realizing all the things i expected this time of life to be, it's not going to be that way. the grown-ups never tell you they probably never feel grown-up. my head is full of questions, but i suppose in the end, they all end up being the same question: "who will i become?"
- liz r. - 4:20:11 PM